Thoughtful husband declines friend's wedding invitation because he wasn't given a +1 for his wife, prefers to have his life partner by his side: ‘[He] was not happy’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 19, 2025 8:00 PM EST

There's nothing like getting married. The only thing that might be better than attending a wedding as the bride, is attending the wedding with someone who you've already married! You're past all of the wedding jitters, the honeymoon phase, and everything else that might cause you worry or anxiety. Now, the fun part begins! You can attend a wedding as a partnership and dance the night away while celebrating the love of your closest friends.

Many folks think of weddings as an in-person Tinder swipe. You know the story. Lots of people find one-night love or long-term love at receptions because the drinks are flowing and love is in the air!

The husband who posted this story decided to decline his high school buddy's invitation because he wasn't given a plus-one for his wife. He explains that he simply didn't see the point in attending a wedding without his other half. His friend was not happy about his decision, but the husband is standing firm in his choice. It seems like they weren't that close, anyway. Scroll to read.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10456247040
    via Unsplash+ (Olivie Strauss)

  • "AITAH for declining a wedding invite that didn't include a +1 for my wife?"

    A buddy(42m) from High School is getting married in May. My(42m) invitation did not include a Plus-1 for my wife (41f). In talking to his younger brother(39m) who I'm
    via MBWill8809
  • also friends with, I learned it's not a small wedding. Their guest list is well north of 250 people. They work in sales and have made many contacts and
    via MBWill8809
  • decided with some friends, they would not extend the Plus-1, as a way to reach as many friends/coworkers/acquai Intances as possible for their event.
    via MBWill8809
  • I have no issue with this. Neither does my wife. She didn't care either way. Happy to go if invited but won't lose sleep if not attending. My
    via MBWill8809
  • friend and his fiance have been to our house for at least 2 dinner parties I recall, a kid's birthday party and a couple BBQ relaxing days on the deck. testing out the smoker.
    via MBWill8809
  • The women get along very well and have never had a cross word. This is simply an issue of wanting to touch as many different people as possible, and omitting the plus-1s for some guests allows this. Makes sense.
    via MBWill8809
  • I RSVP'd No to the wedding. I just like to go to weddings as a couple. This isn't a control thing or a respect thing, I just know weddings are a long, all day affair and I
    via MBWill8809
  • don't have a million 10 minute conversations with strangers in me anymore. I'd prefer to mingle a bit, talk with friends and family we know, eat with her, dance
    via MBWill8809
  • a lot with her and celebrate their special day. The reception is also about an hour away, so after drinking a bit at weddings, we usually would get a room locally and Uber there.
    via MBWill8809
  • Cheezburger Image 10456247296
    via Unsplash (George Brynzan)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My buddy was not happy to say the least. I told him what I just typed and said I wish them all the best, I understand exactly why they're doing no plus-1s, with no objection, and we
    via MBWill8809
  • would still send a gift despite not attending. He didn't care, continued to get further agitated. After being pushed harder, I told him "for such a bright guy, I can't see
    via MBWill8809
  • how he didn't see that some people would give regrets to this." This is where he hung up on me, lol.
    via MBWill8809
  • Talking to my Dad, who has known him for 28 years, and met his fiancee as well, he said his anger may be that he's getting far more declines than they expected and is lashing
    via MBWill8809
  • out. He's a buddy I've had for years, but not my best friend. When our lives went in separate directions we amicably fell out for about 10 years up until recent. Let's not pretend my presence is vital to their wedding here.
    via MBWill8809
  • Am I wrong to decline? Should I have just attended alone as I don't have a hard reason why I can't attend, like a conflict of times with another event?
    via MBWill8809

  • We might get some disagreements in the comments, but I think this makes perfect sense. Since the plus-one situation is not negotiable and the husband thinks he won't enjoy the event, he doesn't feel comfortable attending.

    Commenters point out that a wedding invitation is a question, not a command.

  • Nervous-Priority... Imo a wedding invite is just that, an invite. You never have to go, but you're allowed to. That's what an invite is. There is never a reason you'd be the ah le for not going.
    via Nervous-Priority-752
  • Any-Expression2... So he's ditching the plus ones in order to show off in front of as many different people as possible. He's a d che nozzle. NTA
    via Any-Expression2246
  • R... NTA He can't command you to be there. LOL. FAFO Also don't send a gift
    via Ruthless_Bunny
  • calacmack I think that it was inappropriate for your friend to question your decision to decline. NTA.
    via calacmack
  • jazzfunk17 Not wrong to decline and he's fine to invite whoever he wants. I wouldn't go if my wife wasn't invited, either. I think your dad is right, he's likely getting a lot of no's or backlash from others.
    via jazzfunk17

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buddy reddit stories friendship feud Wedding Themes aita rsvp poor planning marriage entitlement drama AITAH wedding drama Wedding Invitation plus one friends wife reddit story wedding entitled reddit thread Reddit married weddings entitled people friendship feud
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